IUI, embarrassed husband, & tears.. Totally normal.. I think!
First, let me start off by letting you know where we last left off. Josh and I were going in on Sunday to schedule our IUI procedure, Right? - Wrong!
When I got to Kentucky Infertility Institute on Sunday, March 4, I was not even close to where my specialist wanted me to be as far as matured eggs. I left there heartbroken, feeling like this was going to be another huge let down month, sad for myself and hubby we had to push back the only thing that we were trying to stay positive about. But they reassured me this is totally normal. I needed to come back on Tuesday. When I scheduled for Tuesday I was told they would check me again via ultrasound and we would get my IUI scheduled for hopefully Thursday or Friday.
Again, If you aren't familiar with what an IUI is... It is an Intrauterine insemination (IUI), a fertility treatment that involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. The goal of an IUI is to increase the number of sperm that reach the Fallopian tubes and subsequently increase the chance of fertilization. So to break it down pretty simple, instead of intercourse this was our plan for the month of March.
Now I returned on Tuesday around noon. The sun was shining, I jammed the whole way there to some awesome throwbacks and sang my heart out to Pistol Annies and Mariah Carey. I just felt I was going to hear the news I had hoped for on Sunday. When I arrived they took me straight back and I got to put on my paper dress. Dr. Hunter didn't see me this day, it was a woman. She was a traveling NP and was going to start working solely out of this office. Now, most women get weird about wanting to see the same person, or not wanting to see a man Dr. or something changes and they get thrown out of wack. Let me tell you-- after all of this back and forth for months -- an ALIEN could deliver my baby and I wouldn't blink twice over it... She pulled everything up and here we are looking at a screen with one matured egg. ONE...
Josh was scheduled for a 12:30 appointment on this Tuesday as well for the last of his blood work since we were doing the procedure there in the office. I had to schedule to come back on Thursday to check again. It took EVERYTHING in me to hold tears back while telling them that 9 am would work for me. As I walked out I felt this just overwhelm of emotions.. Infertility is a super hard thing to deal with. I literally have no idea WHY this is happening to us? WHY can't I make a baby like everyone else? WHY aren't my eggs maturing? I am taking all of my meds at the different times and exactly as instructed. I sit in the parking lot, slow crocodile tears are falling from my face. I knew I had to go back to work but I wanted to wait and see Josh so I could get one of his big bear hugs and be on my way. He pulls up and I tell him what's going on. He tries to calm me down and talk me off the ledge. We say our goodbyes and I get in my car back to work. As I am driving I call my momma - I have a number beeping in. It is KY Fertility Institute. I rush off the phone with mom to see what they would be calling me for. It is Dr. Hunter... " Hey Ashley, I know we didn't get to see each other today however I was just given your ultra sounds and I would like for your Thursday appointment to be for an IUI, not an ultrasound. I would hate for you to continue these hormones and we lose the chance with this one matured egg."
WHAT?!? That my friends is how quickly your path can take a turn! So we got the IUI scheduled for 8 am. I called Josh and my mom just ecstatic. Because well that is the Ashley they have gotten used to in the last months... crying one minute and as happy as can be the next.
Leading up to our IUI, Josh and I are both SO nervous. For each other, for ourselves.. we just don't know what to expect. The night before I was worried but I laid there and dozed off. Josh however took this time to research everything about it. The next morning he was full of all kinds of fun facts on the way to KFI. "Did you know that sperm and semen are different? ( No I didn't ) Did you know you only need 1 tablespoon to produce the amount of sperm needed for conception? ( Again, No I didn't ) We talked the whole way there. He was not happy with me that he couldn't do the deed at home and take it with us. We would have had to have his sample there within an hour. On a good drive there from the house with no traffic it is 45 minutes so I said absolutely not! His reasoning .. He's uncomfortable doing it there... Hello I have already been examined TWICE this week! Get over it!
We arrive and sit in the waiting room. I get called back for more blood work. When I walk back into the waiting area Josh is gone. They took him back so he could provide a sample. I sit in the waiting area on my phone just looking at different posts trying to keep my mind busy. Then I hear a door open and it's Josh.. the face he had was priceless. He was red as could be, eyes were huge, and I bet if I would've reached and grabbed his hand he would've been shaking a little. Obviously, I do what any supportive wife would do and laugh uncontrollably in a quiet waiting room to make him even more mad.
"How was it?"
"What do you mean? How do you think? Everyone in here KNOWS what I just did!" he whispers.
"No they don't! And so what if they do! We are all here with the same end goal. "
He pauses for a few seconds ... " It was just.... weird."
"They took me back to this dimly lit bathroom. and there was a leather chair and a toilet ( I started giggling but still listening) and there were these like hobby lobby playboy prints on the walls. And a TV but I didn't turn it on. I was scared there would be a porn in there with the volume all the way up." (Oh he is so crazy! but I love how he makes me laugh even when I don't want too!)
About 15-20 minutes pass and they call us back. We go into a normal examination room and I undress. Next the assistant comes in and asks if I care if a student watches...
"Hell at this point, the more the merrier!" -- yes I did say that haha! Could you tell I was on edge?!
So in walks my Dr, his assistant, and the student ( who hides in the corner of the room)
He holds this tube up and asks me to verify it is Josh's information.
Then he hands me a clipboard. As I am going to sign he is showing me what I am signing..
"and this here shows that we needed 10 million sperm to conduct the IUI and Joshua gave us 76 million." I look over and my husband is seriously grinning and SO proud of himself HA! I was proud of him too. He did his research and everything... lol.
Next up, Here it goes!
"You are going to feel a small pinch and some cramping... annddd we are done. Lay here for the next ten minutes, I will set an alarm and then you are free to go. Good luck guys!" and they all file out of the room.
I look at my husband - "At least give me a kiss like we made this baby normally!"
" Nope! you took me out of the equation, kiss your Dr." he said jokingly.
And then we kiss... while I lay there on a cold hospital bed, in a paper dress, my stomach doing flips, and my timer ticking in the background. This is not how I envisioned getting pregnant, but like I said earlier... We are willing to try anything!
The next few days were filled with lots of pain, some bleeding, and lots of sleeping. I was very sore, not so much from the procedure, but my ovaries were 4X their normal size with the hormones!! That was VERY uncomfortable. I couldn't even wear normal pants ( ok, I rarely do anyway ! )
Which brings us to now, Just like with any other procedure comes the dreaded two weeks of waiting. In infertility world, it is called TTW... Two week wait.. In my world it is called an eternity!!!
We get to test Thursday to see if we got luck with Baby Benny..Every day since our IUI my sweet husband asks me if I feel pregnant..I know he's cute.
I am trying to just not think about it but let's be honest it really is ALLL I think about. I would love for this to be it.. but I also know that there is a chance we aren't finished with this journey yet.. Either way I know I have the most supportive husband in the world and he truly will stand by my side through ANYTHING.
To be continued...
XOXO - Ashley